Jaime's been on my case about being a "real musician". He recently told me that he talked to my father about it and that they both agreed that I should spend more time learning songs by ear and working on "saloon style" playing. I really don't like this idea. I mean, I like the idea, I guess I just don't like the process. It's difficult for a classical pianist to just.. 'groove'. Maybe it's just me.

I had similar struggles with sight reading until I just sat down and made myself do it. I know that Dad and Jaime are right. I just am uncomfortable. It's like breaking in a pair of very stiff shoes. Playing without music is hard! It's so much easier to just get the music out and figure it out correctly the first time. If you mess up then it sounds bad and no one wants things to sound bad. But if you only sight read music then you'll never learn the chords. I'm a horizontal musician, I understand Bach, counterpoint. Brahms? Rachmaninoff? No. I don't know what's going on and memorizing them is even more difficult than sight reading them. Learning chords is not my cup of tea but it's good for me to grow as a musician.

Yesterday I made it through 2 songs.. almost. One I couldn't quite remember this morning so I don't know if it counts. And the other I played very well but when Jaime asked me what key it was in I couldn't tell him. I still can't. You start with a C chord (actually I think the song is in D but I wasn't listening to it when I figured it out so I started on C) and the melody line actually starts with E but then you play all the notes that are in the Eb scale. Tell me how that works out? I'm the music teacher and I don't even know. My only guess is that it modulates back and forth from C major to C minor. 4 years of college training and that's what you get.

Other news... how do you know when beans are done growing?