Stress

Right now my boss is walking around the store, showing it off, to someone that he might hire. Yesterday I heard this guy asking for an application, he has been in the store many times for music, he's a piano teacher. I'm so relieved and excited. This semester has been very difficult at the music store. Totally manageable but stressful. There are days when I have to work by myself and just as often wait past time to leave for someone to take my place. I get nervous thinking what will happen is someone is late coming in? I have to teach. I have students waiting on me.. 2:00 turns into 2:10.. then into 2:13... I get antsy knowing I have a 2:45 lesson and I have to travel to get there.
What a relief to know that my boss has finally seen the need for someone to help cover our gaps. Probably in more ways than one. It is so nice to know that, perhaps.. perhaps, soon, I won't have to worry if I can stay an extra 5 minutes to make sure the next person gets here on time.

Today's entry will be all about stress! You will also get a chance to know me a little bit better :) Duh, when do you not know about me more through each journal entry. This semester I have been learning about stress management more than I ever had before. I know that since I graduated and especially since I got married (a year after college) that I've been learning about what I can and cannot cope with. For instance, I took a part time job teaching general music classes at a private school. I loved those children.. I could not handle teaching so many of them at once. The night before I went to teach them I would stress out about grades, I would stress about if the classroom was set up or if I'd have to rearrange things, I would worry about not seeming professional enough, I would worry that I wasn't getting through to all of them. I quickly found out that that was not the job for me. Although I love music, and I love teaching.. I simply didn't have enough time to devote to that job. Keep in mind I was teaching a private studio, working at the music store, singing at EWTN in the mornings and playing at a church on Sunday's. Wow.. that's a lot of work and a lot of music.

Jaime and I had a really amazing conversation months ago about work and money. You don't need to know the details of his work and money because this isn't his blog (and I know he reads it and would appreciate it if I only wrote about me). We had a talk about why I don't just get a day job doing something like being a secretary, something that paid decently and gave me steady hours from 9-5. Jaime was very patient and very loving while talking me through ways to maximize our time and resources to pay off our debt. (Gosh I love paying off debt) I felt very intensely that I want to continue teaching. The idea of getting off work at 4 or 5 sounds really nice but I would miss teaching, I feel fulfilled when I teach and I love watching children learn. So how do I capitalize on that without losing it like I did last year doing five part time jobs at once? I try to get more students.

I was so nervous about this. SO nervous. Because I already felt like I worked a lot, adding more students to this?! That's when Jaime walked me through it, he's the logical one you know. By teaching more students I could free up a few of my week days to have time for myself, time to think about teaching (specifically time to think about competitions for next year). You know what I've realized since adding 5 students and one more day of teaching to my schedule that I thought was already full, I enjoy teaching more than I thought I did. Go figure. I get so excited about each new student and I love knowing that I have very full afternoons, full of students, full of learning. I never get sick of them. I never get sick of reminding people that Middle C is such an easy note to remember.

Which brings me to stress. Right now I'm in the middle of a very packed very tightly timed semester. Each day I go straight from one job to another with several 12+ hour days back to back. Not that my jobs are extremely difficult, it's that I have no free time. My husband and I both love our free time. Jaime gets cranky if he doesn't get video game time, just like I get cranky if I can't sew, or read a book. Speaking of which I just finished all the Harry Potters, I almost cried. Almost. So I've been finding out lots of little things about myself that I didn't know, things that help me stay sane.

1. If I leave straight from the music store and go straight to teach, even if it means I have 15-45 minutes of free time to just sit, it's way better than stopping by home to see the doggies. I only live five minutes from the music store so it's very tempting to go home and 'relax' for a minute. I've found out that it stresses me out way more if I do that because I feel rushed, I worry about being late, and I don't enjoy the time I spent with the pups.

2. I made sweet tea this week and it tastes *almost* like my moms. I haven't made sweet tea very well in Alabama and gave up thinking it must be the water. This week I've had several moments where I poured a glass and just.. relaxed. It worked.

3. Quit thinking about where you'd rather be or how much longer you have until fill in the blank. There happen to be plenty of hours past 7:00 where I can enjoy plenty of different things. Yes, I still want to go to bed at 9pm, I might always be that way, but I've been trying to push myself to stay up later and last night I did, past when Jaime went to bed, for the first time ever.

4. Plan out my food and make sure to stock good tasting things even if those are Bud's Best Cookies. Even if your husband only let you keep three of the 10 bags that were given to you by your student. I also like to keep a stash of mac and cheese, Zataran's rice, Hamburger Helper, and M&Ms for baking. I haven't touched any of these this week... except the cookies, mostly because I know they are there for emergencies. I get home late, we're hungry, we need to eat pronto. I have some pesto in the fridge for the nights when I want to treat us to a better meal.

5. I have been practicing telling myself, in especially stressful situations at the music store, that it doesn't matter. "Carrie this doesn't matter, it's not your problem, just ignore it" Choose your battles.

I have a delima readers. I'm working on a quilt for a dear dear friend who's getting married this summer (yay!) and I'm trying to figure out how to quilt it. I have enough time to do some quilting by hand if I wanted to. The wedding isn't until June and I've almost got the top completed. My Aunt Nancy has been a huge help, quilting the last quilt that I made for my friend Lindsey. And although I would gladly ask her help on this one as well I have started thinking... it's possible for me to learn how to do this myself right? I know I'm young and I haven't been quilting very long and this would be my first large quilting project. But I think I could do it.

I've been reading the blogs of other quilters in the Birmingham area. Many of them recently went on a retreat and one of them, Pipkin House, posted the different machines that the quilters were using. I've since become inspired. To be honest I've quilted small things like pot holders (once again, an Aunt Nancy inspiration!) and I've even done a quilt for a friend in college by hand, but it was much simpler and only a twin, not a queen! So, if these other quilters are using these machines to make amazing things, why can't I?

Here's what I'm working with.
http://www.laurelauction.com/0330s%20Singer%20Featherweight.JPG
Quilters out there, shouldn't I be able to quilt with this machine? Any advice? The quilt I'm working on has potential to do some straight line patterns on each block, which I know my Singer can handle. It does straight lines like nobody's business.

I promise I didn't give up blogging for Lent. I swear. I've been really busy and you know the drill (people get busy!). I can account for a few things, however, that I accomplished during my week long hiatus from blogging.
1. I now teach on Friday's. Mon, Tues, Thurs, and Friday!
2. I almost have my quilt top semi done. I have these four big sections that need to be put together and then I need to put a boarder on it, but sheesh, the four big sections took forever and now I can finally lay it out on a bed and see what it will actually look like. This to me, is a big deal. Quilters out there will understand. :)
3. Jaime and I have watched Harry Potter movies 2-5. Three of those have been watched within the last 24 hours. HUGE thanks to our wonderful neighbor friends Sarah and Austin for letting us borrow not only the books but the movies as well. Can you believe that Jaime is kinda, sorta, maybe, coming over to the other side? He actually requested that we watch the fifth one this afternoon!
4. Successfully spent $90 on groceries, huge leap for me as you all will know. We've been trying out Publix and although they are more expensive (I don't care who you are it's a household fact that they are more expensive) we are trying to support a smaller business than Walmart. I have to say, before you run away and say things like, "Carrie, what about your budget?! Carrie, what about being frugal?! Carrie, what the heck has happened to you?!" I'll have you know that we bought lots of food for the next few weeks. Ten, yes, ten, pizzas that were on sale. We have pizza Tuesday right? Well.. our pizzas were on sale, so we figured.. why not stock up? Jaime stacked him in his arms and as we turned to put them in our buggy some small child said "woah.." I think we made dreams come true.
5. Oh yea, we remembered our 'green' bags this time.
6. I cat sat for my friend Lauren while she was in Mobile! Oatmeal was pissed off that I wasn't her mom the first day so she threw up everywhere. But the second day she was my best friend ever. EVER! Thanks for the smarties, Lauren. You are feeding my addiction, you know that right?
7. I successfully ran 5 miles this afternoon. It's been months since I've run that far, since October to be exact. It feels great, but my legs are so tired they hurt. That feels great as well :)
8. Jaime fed the dogs sardines, lots of sardines. Now their beards smell like sardines, the kitchen smells like sardines, the house smells like sardines, and my wet kisses in the morning smell.. like sardines. Ew.
9. We're about to leave to go to Ichiban!! It's Shakin Steve's birthday and we're going to celebrate! Happy Birthday Steve!

Oh, and I guess

I know lots of people think that this Valentine's Day was the best Valentine's Day yet, but this one I think tops my list so far. I was thinking back to previous Valentine's Days that I've had, specifically ones with my husband. The first one we had together was three days after he proposed to me. I honestly don't remember what we did but I'm sure it was special. I'm also sure it couldn't one up a proposal, so that's probably why I don't remember it. The next one I had the flu, I had to stay at home from work and I was trying desperately to make those little bowls made of chocolate that my Mom used to make. You dip small balloons in warm (NOT HOT) chocolate, half way up, and let them dry, dip them again, etc. Then when they dry you pop the balloon and peel away. I had so many balloons pop in my face that being covered in chocolate, Churchill being covered in chocolate, our kitchen being covered in chocolate, and having the flu at the same time, I cried. And I cried, and I cried. Massive fail. Last Valentine's was special because we ran our first 5k ever! It was actually really special to do something like that together. Afterward we went out and got Thai food downtown that was absolutely delicious.

This year was special because we gave very thoughtful gifts to each other. There were actually two gifts given by each of us, not even meaning to. Jaime cooked me dinner. He grilled out flank steak and asparagus. We never eat steak, it was such a treat! The dinner was wonderful :) His other gift, the real gift to me, was that he would do one chore once a week for the next six months. I'm not sure where the six month time frame came from, but it was even more wonderful than the dinner. I've been trying to get some free time to talk about being stressed out and finding ways to keep my stress low, or manage it, and this is a huge part of it. I'm always feeling like there is something that is behind in cleaning. I don't know why I'm so stressed by it, another entry could be devoted to figuring that out. Jaime was very thoughtful, he knew that I had been having a difficult time stress wise and he gave me the perfect gift. He did specify that I shouldn't pick laundry or else he might ruin all our clothes (I do all the laundry... though I sometimes make him put his away). So I picked the bathrooms. I still have to clean my sink area, but today he cleaned out the shower, toilet, even the floors and the half bath downstairs. Such a weight off my shoulders! For the next six months every Sunday I will have freshly cleaned bathrooms :)
I bought a bunch of different candies, even Sour Patch Kids and laid them out on the table with candles and a pink table runner (it's actually a fat quarter.. don't tell!) So this afternoon after our dinner we snacked on chocolates and sweet tarts. My other part of the present was given on Saturday and I'll let your imagination run wild, sorry kids, it's between Jaime and me. What? It's Valentine's Day.
It was such a good weekend because our gifts were very important to the other person. They didn't cost anything but meant so much to the other person. It was also such a good weekend because our plans worked exactly as we wanted, not a hitch in sight. I also got two naps in, one yesterday and one today! How perfect is that?
We're about to eat a pizza and watch Harry Potter!! I recently finished book 6 and figured I'd catch up in the movie department and get movie 2 out of the way. I know I'm WAY behind on reading and watching all these movies, but I'm enjoying them none the less. And yes I think I've seen movies 1-4 before, it's just been a long time. Plus I can't wait to hear the accents :)

Happy Valentine's Day!

I really like the idea of bullet pointing this entry but I feel like that's what I've been doing for the past two entries so it's not very fair to you. Sorry!

To recap the past few days I could say that the most fulfilling thing I did was quilt. Or piece.. since I technically wasn't quilting yet. Jaime patiently helped me see the 'logical' 'math' side of piecing this project and it helped me immensely. I wanted to originally start with the lightest blocks in the center and then get darker as it worked it's way to the edges but when I laid it out it didn't really look 'amazing'. So then I figured, why not make it randomized. That started to look way better but I had organized all 218 squares into piles of light, medium, and dark. So then Jaime and I took them all and rearranged them into four quadrants with equal number of colored squares in each one. I have since been piecing them quadrant by quadrant. I've got two finished. So that's half the top! All I have left to do is the other two and the boarder and I'll be finished :) I have to say that putting the large pieces together, the four quadrants pieces is probably my favorite part about quilting. All the sudden it looks even better than you had imagined it! And then you have to quilt it and I haven't figured out if that will be me or someone else. And then I have to put the binding on which.. takes a long long time. Longer than I like to imagine and it's kinda anti climactic because you already know what it's going to be. It's like opening a present that is gift wrapped in clear paper. It's not really a surprise anymore but it's still kinda exciting.

I watched Wizard People with the Dauro's and that was fantastic. I'm in the middle of Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince so being able to watch the first movie with a story dubbed over it was a lot of fun. Plus Jaime laughed and I love it when he has a good time around me and other people. He's just so darn introverted sometimes!

My legs are so sore. I started running again and I accidentally put on my junk running shoes instead of my new ones.. such a bad idea. Not only are my legs sore from starting running after a long break, but because I ran in bad shoes. I get to run again tonight and I'm hoping that the new shoes will help loosen my legs!

I meant to write about relaxing because I've discovered some things about myself that I never knew before! I've been trying to find ways to relax because in the midst of teaching 20 students, working almost full time at the music store and singing in the early mornings I get really stressed out. One thing that I changed was going straight to the church to teach instead of dropping by home and having a snack and some down time. I have about an hour in between depending on the days that I teach and I always figured that it was good for me to go home and rest, regroup, and get on to teaching. Now that I'm going to teach and taking my time getting there I'm a lot less stressed about it. It's really an amazing difference. I think that I figured having down time would help me relax but it made things worse since I had the pressure of "don't be late" hanging over me. Now I know I'm not going to be late, I can pick up a snack on my way, and chill out before my first student comes. It works out much better. So I'm trying to figure out more ways that I can relax. After getting those two large parts of the quilt I'm making done I found that I was extremely happy. I felt like I accomplished something and could enjoy having it done. So even if the act of sewing doesn't calm me down, I feel the benefits of it immediately afterward. It's strange how humans work isn't it? Jaime can sit down and play video games for an hour and feel totally relaxed but that would make me so stressed out! The pressure of playing the game, the pressure of getting it done in time to go on to the next thing etc. Too much! Plus it's kinda nice to drive in the slow lane and not worry about being late to things :) I like that part the most.

In other news, my parents are renting a beach house in SC at the end of May and May could not get here fast enough. What perfect timing. Teaching will end, and then vacation, a beach vacation! Imagine... schnauzers on the beach! :)

Thursday's To Do List

1. Find Dunkin Donuts in Pelham and buy donut and coffee.

2. Google how to do self employment taxes.

3. Find out what kind of veggies I should plant in my garden and get started on it.

4. Clean out Churchill's ears.

5. Quilt quilt quilt quilt quilt.

6. Find a way to eat brown rice and sausage with dinner.

7. Figure out the AMTA rules and regulations.

Thrown Together Tuesday

1. I think of my dogs as humans. I compare my dogs to babies and children. I once heard a woman talk about how insulting it was to compare an animal to a human child, she obviously never owned a terrier.

2. Last night I woke up at 1 in the morning (I'm sick so I can do things like that) and my puppy Huxley was sitting on my stomach staring at me. He nosed up under my hand to force my hand to pet his little puppy head and every time I fell asleep he'd nose my hand back up to rub his head again. He finally laid down on my stomach but kept nuzzling my hand until I fell asleep and didn't wake back up until morning.

3. All the students that got rewards yesterday for being good pianists who practice picked these generic suckers. ALL OF THEM. They could have had tootsie rolls, tootsie roll pops, bubble gum, jaw breakers, smarties. They chose the most boring bland looking suckers. Every. Single. One.

4. Watching a PBS documentary on the Donner party right before bed probably isn't the best idea I've ever had. Something about cannibalism is a little creepy to me, creepy, but fascinating at the same time. But it's practical too you know, if you were lost in the California mountains freezing and starving to death and someone in your party died wouldn't you cook up their body? I mean.. it's weird but.. wouldn't you? Did you know the Donner party tagged the bodies so that they wouldn't have to eat their relatives? *shudder*

5. My nose hurts from blowing it too much. I think there is a mucus factory in my sinuses and they work overtime especially at night so that the next morning I can blow and blow and blow and stuff just keeps coming out!

6. Tonight is pizza night!

7. This weekend I was taking a shower and both my dogs jumped in with me. I think they thought it was a good opportunity to drink some water but I used it as an opportunity to bathe them as well. They never knew what was coming.

8. Jaime can't drink coke past 8pm or he'll be up all night. I can drink a coke before bed and sleep just fine.

9. I finished (finally) cutting all the pieces for the quilt I'm working on. Now they are in little stacks all color coded and ready for piecing. I put a month long halt on the project because I ran out of fabric. I've never run out of fabric before and I was so frustrated. I couldn't get past it so I kept putting it off which made it get worse and worse. When Jaime and I finally went to the store to get more fabric it only cost me $16. That was it. I put it off because of that? And now I feel all accomplished because my cutting is done!

10. I'm a little bit sad that college football season is over. Despite that fact when I went out with Jaime on Thursday night I got two Roll Tide's because of my shirt. Roll Tide.

11. Because of my mucus factory I was a mouth breather last night and now my top lip is split.

12. I love watching the show Clean House. Mayhem and Foolishness! But I realized today that there are a lot of decent looking people on that show who have rooms in their houses full of junk. How could someone live like that? How can you live in a place that isn't put together? How could you "not have unpacked for 3 years" boxes and boxes of things? Granted some people have hoarding tendencies and that's a psychological issue. But to just not clean up after yourself? Who does that?